“Ridiculous Quotes”

A struggling zoo’s main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can’t afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week. He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see…

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise “Geeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these…

Holy Humor!!  1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:CHURCH CAR PARKING – FOR MEMBERS ONLY,TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!That took care of the problem!2. “No God – No Peace?   Know God – Know Peace.” 3. “Free Trip to heaven.   Details Inside!” 4. “Try our…

The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction,She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,She’ll win you in…

Are My Testicles Black? A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.  A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to…