Proof that girls are evil!

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise “Geeez. That is REALLY deep… here.. throw one of these…

An old woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.  A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, “Giorgio – Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!” The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator…

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates… It‘s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,might burn your ass tomorrow.

Have You Ever Wondered… Why does the sun lighten our hair,but darken our skin? Why can’t  women put on mascarawith their mouths closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline“Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with…