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How to be politically correct
when
you gossip about women...
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE
DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is
METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF
HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock
you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC
UNDERACHIEVER.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in
ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH
HER MASCULINE SIDE.
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is
ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY
ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits
FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets
CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves
MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY
INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached
COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY
REPETITIVE
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