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The Advantages of Being Old
Yes, being over 50 does have its advantages… 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?” 5. People no longer…
Your Day Off
A Day Off So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours…
The Test Results
Are My Testicles Black? A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to…
Jocks vs Nerds
We’ll just take the most prominent for example’s sake: $ Michael Jordan having “retired,” with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a movie,…
I’m Not Drunk!!
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and mywife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else…After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finallyproceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottleand poured the contents down the sinkwith the exception of one glass, which…