I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They
were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft
was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint
might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked
into the Branch and wrote "this. Put all your muny in
this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't
read it
anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006 A
motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of
$40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police
that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw
a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out
of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in
fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name
and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
