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Why It's So Great
To Be A Guy

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you
blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support
group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something,
he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original
color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the
passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean if the meter reader is
coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy
for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75
bucks.
You can drop by to see a friend without
bringing a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the
same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So,
notice anything different?"
You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in
public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color,
all seasons. Gas (at either end) is cool.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.

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