1. There was a church that had
problems with outsiders parking in its parking
lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARKING - FOR MEMBERS
TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!
That took care of the problem!
2. "No God - No Peace? Know
God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to heaven.
4. "Try our Sundays. They are
better than Baskin-Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look?
Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has a
picture of two hands holding stone tablets on
which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a
headline that reads: "For fast, fast, fast
relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to
another Church put out a sign with big red
letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church
reciprocated with its own message: "We are open
on Sundays, too."
8. "People are like tea bags -
you have to put them in hot water before you
know how strong they are."
9. "Fight truth decay - study
the Bible daily."
10. "How will you spend eternity
- Smoking or Non-smoking?"
11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty
12. "Come work for the Lord.
The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay
is low. But the retirement benefits are out of
13. "It is unlikely there'll be
a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait for the hearse
to take you to church."
15. "If you're headed in the
wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If you don't like the way
you were born, try being born again."
17. "Looking at the way some
people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire
18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What
is missing?" ----- (U R)
19. "In the dark? Follow the
20. "Running low on faith?
Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If you can't sleep, don't
count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
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