CHICKEN SOUP
FOR THE BEER DRINKER
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
- Frank Sinatra
"An intelligent man is sometimes
forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
- Ernest Hemingway
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I think not."
- Stephen Wright
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
- Dave Barry
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.